It's been one week and a day since one of my best friends (T.P.) passed away unexpectedly. There is an amazing distance between fact and realization of that fact. I know my friend is dead, but I really have not wrapped my head around his absence. There is a hole somewhere in my conscious understanding of the world that he use to occupy that I have not yet stumbled into.
His passing has been weird to me. Usually when someone close to me dies I tend to examine my own mortality. This time I just feel numb to my own existence. Don't get me wrong, I love life and I love MY life but I just feel numb. I also feel ashamed that I have so much and that my friends wife and parents have lost so much.
The other strange thing is that I can't stop thinking about my friend. My mind wanders back to something or another he said, or some action he made, or just the way he looked. I know of the brevity of life and I know that life's brevity is a large part of what makes it so sweet. But I just can't wrap my head around a world without my friend. Honestly, I never would have thought that I would miss him so much.
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